Rifles and Ravens
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Dean made a Deal to save Sam. What he didn't know was that the snarky Brit who showed up was no demon, but a wizard who was pretty ticked off at Heaven. He's sold his freedom to a snarky librarian who lives in the old Men of Letters bunker. Meet Raven, a wizard who's chosen a life of exile...until the angel who ruined his life makes an appearance.
1. Chapter 1

It all started the day he learned that it wasn't, in fact, the old wizard's fault that his life had turned extra shitty.

While Albus Dumbledore had been responsible for a great many wrongs in his life, from his placement with his maternal aunt to holding his silence when it could have saved lives, he was not in fact responsible for the worst atrocities.

No, that blame lay solely on the 'shoulders' of the angels. Specifically a very smug and arrogant seraph by the name of Zachariah.

Every time he attempted to back out of the war that had cost him so much, it was Zachariah who had insured he had no choice but to end it personally.

Ginny. Hermione. Ron. Remus. Tonks.

Their deaths and possibly the death of Sirius as well could be laid at the feet of the angel insuring they were found by Death Eaters or were hit by a spell at the worst time, resulting in their death.

Upon finding that, he had dove into anything he could find featuring angels...and consequently demons.

Which lead him to America, ironically enough.

It was there that he changed his name, started wearing color contacts, and even changed his usual outfits so that no one from his homeland would find him.

Where Harry Potter had been harassed, followed and watched, Raven Winchester was ignored and dismissed.

No one _ever_ thought the bookworm who was always reading and researching this and that as a danger.

It was always the quiet ones...

He even joined a club as well...and within a year was put in charge of their hidden library, provided he kept the place clean and the technology up to date. He pretty much became a glorified librarian.

So when he heard rumors of both heaven _and_ hell being active on Earth once more...well, he started looking up rumors on why.

It took little time at all to locate a name...ironically it was identical to his own, save for the fact that he had taken his off an ancestor from his mother's family.

The Winchesters. The angels were particularly interested in the brothers, and the demons were laughing at the fact that the father couldn't find the name of the demon who killed his wife.

Well, let it never be said Raven couldn't be a petty son of a bitch to people he disliked. And if it pissed Zachariah that a third party decided to ruin his precious plan, whatever it was, all the better.

Time to cause some chaos the Marauders would be proud of.

* * *

Dean had just finished filling the hole when he heard someone approach.

"Evenin' gov'ner," said a male with a British cockney accent.

Dean turned, and saw a man roughly his height (if not a little shorter) with pitch black hair, eyes as dark as night, and a well pressed black suit with black tie. He also had the beginnings of a beard, as if he couldn't be bothered to properly shave off his face that morning.

His eyes flashed black, and Dean knew this was a demon.

"I want to make a deal."

"Let's 'ear it then."

"I want my brother back. His soul for mine."

"I'll give you a year, that's it. Now you have two options. I can either kiss you...or you can sign with blood," said the demon.

"Blood," said Dean immediately.

The demon reached into his suit and pulled out a rolled piece of parchment. The words were in nothing he had ever seen before, and Dean produced a knife. One bloody thumbprint later, and the deal was struck.

"I'll come back for you in a year, and if you're lucky I might let the other demons have you in two," he smirked.

"Do you have a name?" asked Dean.

"My name is Crowley, the _King_ of the Crossroads. Not that it'll do you much good," he said before disappearing. The smell of sulfur was overwhelming. Had Dean looked, he would have noticed a discarded bottle as the source of the stink.

* * *

 _Several miles away, with Sam's body..._

A figure approached the corpse of on Samuel Winchester. It was invisible to everything, including Death itself. In it's hands was a black book that had a very unusual key.

This was the Egyptian Book of the Dead, considered lost to history after it's brief reemergence before the second world war.

The truth was it hadn't been lost at all, but passed down the generations until it ended up in a wizard's vault along with it's counterpart, the golden book of Amun Ra. There it gathered dust until the last remnant of the family that owned it found the books, and promptly took with him to America where he still lived.

Once he was close enough, he opened up the book and began speaking a language long dead for thousands of years.

With a sudden gasp, the corpse came back to life, it's soul returned. The wound that caused the death of the man before him healed over instantly.

Sam Winchester looked shocked...then suspicion came on to his face when he realized, yes, he was alive.

Then something conked him on the head, and the smell of sulfur hit him like a brick.

Two seconds after he tried and failed to read the contract, he realized the blood might be his brother's.

Dean had some explaining to do...once Sam figured out what the hell language the demon had used to write this in. It almost looked like English, except the letters were wrong.

* * *

 _In the library..._

Raven was cackling like a madman as he watched the Winchesters have a massive shouting match the second the younger learned his brother had made a deal. Never mind that none of them could make heads or tails of the thing, the point is that Dean had 'sold' his soul to a demon.

Since Sam was alive, and a contract had been made under the name he borrowed from the actual demon (and stole his form as well, to ensure no one picked up on the truth) no one knew that Dean hadn't actually sold his soul to a demon.

He would let them stew for a few months and alert hell that Crowley had made a deal with Dean Winchester and hadn't turned it over immediately to Lilith. Then, when the contract was about to come due, he'd make it look like Dean was abducted by demons and drop some other high profile names just to piss off the higher demons.

If Lilith took out some demons that had pissed him off over the years he wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Plus there was the added fun of seeing the look on the angel's faces when they realized that Dean hadn't actually _gone_ to hell, just a copy.

So Raven watched, and waited. He did wonder why Loki hadn't picked up the fact that Dean didn't actually _have_ a demon deal on his soul when he created that whole Mystery Spot nonsense.

It seemed Loki caught on at the last minute, if his confused frown at Dean was any indicator.

It only took the pagan a week to realize he knew the signature.

"Took you long enough Loki."

"What did you do Ray?" asked Loki, confused.

"I'm pissing off that feathered asshole Zachariah. And countless demon generals," said Raven flatly, not lowering his book.

"Okay, _how_ did you pull off a demon deal without actually having a demon involved?" asked Loki.

"My great-great grandmother Evelyn found both of the books that can bring the dead to life and take the ill-gotten immortality of another away."

Loki dropped his sucker.

" _You_ have the Book of the Dead and the Book of the Living?!"

"I found them in my family's vault. Can you think of a better way to confuse everyone about what brought Sam back? Besides, the gods of the dead happen to like me and they agreed to do it since it would piss off the angels and a good chunk of the demons. Apparently no one really likes the winged idiots."

"So...when Dean's 'deal' comes through..."

"I'll kidnap him and make it look like a rival general did it to piss off Lilith. I'll cause a civil war in hell as they fight over who has him, all the while I'll turn him into my bitch and have him clean up after my research marathons," said Raven flatly.

Loki stared at him before he started cackling evilly. Raven was going to be putting a lot of panties in a twist with this stunt, and no one would realize it until it was far too late to do anything about it! And with the Book of the Dead, the Winchesters didn't _need_ to make a deal in order to bring the other back to life!

"You _have_ to let me visit when he finds out you're not actually a demon."

"I'll be sure to keep the cameras rolling so you catch his expression when he finds out he made a deal with a wizard that has a long standing grudge against both sides," laughed Raven.

It was a good thing he made dead zones where the supernaturally inclined couldn't hear anything. Much less spy on him while he was having a meeting.

The Cone of Silence, he liked to call it. Very useful.

"Oh this is going to be _hilarious,_ " said Loki very eager.

"By the way...what's the deal with the Mystery Spot anyway?"

Loki winced.

"I heard Dean made a deal, thought I'd teach Sam to leave things be, hell wise. Didn't realize that something else was up until I had a good, long look at Dean's soul and didn't find _any_ markers on it saying he'd made a proper deal. That's when I went back to the signature and realized it had to be you."

"Glad to be of assistance, Loki."

Loki winked at him and vanished.

Raven settled down with his books and grinned. He'd scry on the Winchesters again later.

* * *

 _Eleven months since the deal..._

Dean was nervous, and Sam was going ballistic trying to save his brother.

So it was only natural that the sudden assault outside the crappy motel caught them all off guard.

Ruby was the one who identified the demon that killed Dean though.

Her face paled considerably when she saw the demon, and whispered the name "Alistair".

One minute Dean was there, the next he was gone, and his body vanished.

Sam was devastated.

* * *

Dean felt like shit. Whatever that demon had done to him made his body feel like it had gone ten rounds with someone who beat the shit out of him.

"Awake finally? Good. Now I'm rather surprised you never figured out the trick to reading the contract."

Dean looked up from his surprisingly comfortable bed. Obviously the demon had something in mind for him, though thankfully all his clothes were still on.

"Trick?"

"Did neither of you think to put the parchment to the light and read it from the back? Or hell, put it up to a mirror?" said the demon, raising an eyebrow.

"You're shitting me."

Dean was hit in the head with a copy of the same contract he had 'signed' with his bloody thumb.

Putting it to the light, he realized the parchment was see through...and perfectly legible if you knew how to read it.

"Four months of servitude? That's it?"

"You're going to be my bitch for the next four months as payment for bringing your brother back to life. You can't leave the bunker until that time is up, you're not allowed to contact him in any way, shape or form, and your memory of the location will be erased unless I find a damn good reason to let you remember it."

Dean thought that was ridiculously painless for a demon deal. Wasn't hell supposed to be fire and brimstone?

And he was right. Nothing about the place screamed "Hell" to him. In fact it seemed more like a ridiculously extensive library with a ton of hunter paraphernalia and a full armory of things to kill monsters with.

All around the bunker in strategic intervals were sigils and signs meant to keep things out. Some of them he recognized...like the devil's trap near the front door, which was iron encrusted with salt and other items. The only key was around the neck of his captor.

"Where am I?" asked Dean, absolutely confused.

"You are in the hidden library and treasury of a secret society that was wiped out by demons decades ago. Not the Templars, but another order dedicated to researching the supernatural and helping hunters. Welcome...Dean Winchester...to the secret treasury I like to call Nevermore."

"Okay...what the hell are you?"

The man grinned, then walked through the devil's trap on the front door without even flinching.

"I'm the librarian. Your ass is now owned by a nerdy bookworm with access to a massive magical library."

Dean stared at him, mouth agape.

"I sold my soul...to a shut-in nerd. Sammy's never going to let me hear the end of this."

"If you think that's bad, wait until I start springing the pop quizzes and make you research the answers you get wrong."

"What's your name anyway?"

"Raven."

* * *

It took Dean less than a week to learn Raven's odd system, and three days to learn that Raven would only let him sleep in an extra hour.

At least he didn't have to cook, just clean up after Raven made the meals.

However it took him two days before he accidentally found the book that made it _seem_ like a demon deal.

"What the heck is this thing?" said Dean, struggling to hold up a massive book that looked like it had been made of solid gold.

"The Book of Amun Ra, colloquially known as the Book of the Living. Can remove immortality from those who didn't gain it naturally. It's counterpart is the Book of the Dead, which ironically enough, doesn't actually _cause_ death."

"So what does it do?" asked Dean, eyeing the book in his hands with new light.

"The black Book of the Dead can, in the proper hands to those who can read it and have the sufficient amount of magic in their blood, revive those who have died. The longer they've been dead, the more they newly revived have to do in order to regain their bodies without looking like corpses. Or in the case of the recently dead, can simply bring them back to life with no harm."

Seeing Dean's interest, Raven grinned.

"I may have impersonated a demon when I made that fake deal. But Sammy's revival was entirely because of that black book."

"It actually makes me feel better knowing I sold myself to a witch with loose morals and a streak for petty vengeance."

"Wizard, not witch. I never got my power from any demons. And I kidnapped you early to rile up the demons and hopefully kickstart a civil war in the upper ranks."

And piss off quite a few angels, he neglected to add.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two months, and Sam was slowly going insane.

He might have cut Bobby out, trying to bring Dean back from hell...except that Dean apparently _wasn't_ in hell at all. The demon called Crowley had been quite irate about that.

Apparently someone stole his identity to make a fake deal, and now he was getting the worst of the fallout, next to Alistair.

Lilith was pissed, because Dean wasn't in hell and Alistair had been seen kidnapping him. Except Dean wasn't on the racks and there was no sign of hellhounds.

Which meant someone else had the hunter.

Ruby had barely escaped with her life when she inquired about Dean. It had only set Lilith off.

To Sam that meant one thing.

There was a very, very high chance that Dean was still alive.

To make matters more confusing, he kept finding weird messages in his e-mail from someone called 'quoth_the_raven'. Messages that he was forced to ask Bobby for help translating.

Finally by the third month, Sam noticed a pattern to the messages.

There was always some form of backwards writing on it. Words written in a way that he had to read differently in order to find out what it said.

So when he accidentally knocked over the only copy of Dean's contract...his brain had been conditioned to find patterns out of chaos.

He took one look at the contract...and noticed it had a weird writing style to it.

On a hunch, Sam held it up to the light. From the front, it looked normal...but on the back...

"Oh my god... Bobby, you have to see this."

"What is it boy?"

"Look at the contract when you hold it to the light and read it from the back."

"I'll be damned. It never occurred to me the demon used mirror writing to make this."

Using a small hand held mirror, Bobby read the contract slowly. The further he read, the higher his eyebrows went up in disbelief.

"What?"

"You're not going to believe this."

"It can't be any worse than Dean in hell."

"Dean's not in hell. He wouldn't have ended up there had the year ended anyway. No hell hounds, no sudden violent deaths, and more importantly, no demons."

"What? I thought..."

"This wasn't a demon deal. Though he still has to repay the one who brought you back in order to even the scales. He has a few more months before the remainder is up, but it doesn't say to whom," said Bobby.

Sam borrowed the mirror, and read the contract himself. Like Bobby, his eyebrows shot up to his hairline by the time he got to the last sentence.

It basically stated that the "Contractor" would owe four to five months of "service" to the one raising the soul of one Samuel Winchester in an undisclosed location. The maximum amount of time before the contract was activated was a full year after it was set, but it could be activated early.

In exchange all information save for the location itself would remain with Dean Winchester, who would be dumped at a random location of his choice...alive.

The blood was apparently the main thing tying Dean to the contract at all.

"Dean's alive," said Sam, relief filling his features.

Which meant he had no reason to stick with Ruby, seeing as how she had been operating on the belief Alistair had snagged his brother early.

She, after all, had been the one to _identify_ the demon in the first place.

* * *

Dean grinned when he found the scarecrow sleeping in the chair, book tilted to indicate he had almost dropped it in his sleep.

Raven was skinny as hell, and pale as a ghost. It was clear he spent most of his time in Nevermore and only went out to do bulk food runs and pick things up to keep the library updated.

From the look of it, Raven had fallen asleep while reading again.

It was hard not to like the sarcastic little shit. Raven would spring these random pop quizzes on Dean, then have him sort the section of the library it was in.

Dean learned more about hunting in the scant few months he lived inside Nevermore than he had in ten years of hunting.

Sure, he was a wizard, but from what Dean had seen Raven was more likely to do things the hard way than rely on magic to get it done.

Except the dishes. He _hated_ doing those.

Dean walked to the closet and put a thick blanket over the midget wizard. He had found out early on that Raven was more likely to wake if moved (even if he was light enough for Dean to pick up with ease), but putting a blanket on him was something he had learned to tune out.

Hearing the light snoring, Dean had to hold back a laugh. It was easy to see Raven as another little brother he had to take care of, because while he took immaculate care of himself, it was clear he wasn't used to being around people in general.

Dean wondered what had caused someone who was about his age to willingly shut himself away rather than deal with the outside world.

As if in response to his concern, Raven started flinching.

Dean didn't know much about people, but he recognized PTSD pretty fast when the whimpering started along with the violent twitching.

His dad had the same thing till he started drinking heavily to cope with the memories...then he became so jaded to it all that he worked until he passed out cold from exhaustion.

So when Raven was clearly having an episode, Dean didn't think twice.

He held Raven tight enough that he could move, but not so loose that he could thrash. Raven's blue eyes fluttered a bit, and Dean caught a few words while he was rubbing the man's back.

They sounded like names.

Suddenly the fluttered eyes flew open, and he realized someone was holding him. It took a few moments for the shuddering of his relapse to stop, and when it did he saw Dean.

"Dean?"

"You looked like you were having an episode," he explained.

Raven managed to sit back, any thoughts of sleep clearly gone.

"It doesn't happen much, but when it does, it happens so fast there's little chance of avoiding it," said Raven, wincing.

"What happened? And don't lie...I know PTSD when I see it."

"There was a magical war in England. A lot of good men and women died all because of some twit who had ideas of blood purity and the senile machinations of an old man who had some twisted ideas of what the words 'greater good' meant. I tried to leave repeatedly, because the pain of losing everyone I cared about hurt too much to keep fighting...but the angels forcibly dragged me back and arranged the death of my best friends and my girlfriend just so I would have to fill some bullshit prophecy."

Dean's winced was pretty telling. That sounded as bad as Azazel killing Sam's girlfriend Jess to force him back into hunting again.

"Needless to say I was pretty damn pissed when I found out why they had to die. So I felt zero sympathy for the angel called Zachariah when I broke his nose and cursed him so bad that it stuck for a month when he returned to Heaven. The bastard killed everyone just so I could do his job for him. So I took everything from England, changed my name, and moved to America where I found the last remnant of a secret society and he told me the back door to this place. All I had to do was keep the library from falling into the wrong hands."

Raven pointed at one of the weirder symbols Dean still couldn't make heads or tails of.

"That's an angel-warding sigil. Means heaven's servants can't come in no matter what they do. It wouldn't stop them from smiting the place, but that takes too much out of them. It would require more than a reluctant wizard for them to use it. And I have a hex first policy on all angels."

"So angels are real?"

"Real and bigger assholes than most of the people back in England I know."

"Think you can get back to sleep?"

"Not after having a relapse. I thought I was almost over those damn things."

"What happened?" asked Dean.

Raven looked him in the eye, before swearing as his eye started to bother him.

"Damn contacts. Give me a minute to change these out and grab a few beers and I'll tell you."

When Raven returned, Dean was caught completely off guard when he realized with a start that Raven's eyes were actually _green_. The same shade as his own, hidden behind a pair of red wire frames. In his hands were some home-brewed beers. Raven figured he had the room for a still, so why not use it and save on the cost?

"Green eyes?"

"People tend to remind me I have my mother's eyes, so I chose blue."

Dean shook his head, and accepted the alcohol Raven handed him.

Raven took a deep breath and began to tell Dean why he chose to hide himself away, rather than deal with the world in general. Why he became the librarian of a massive library instead of a hunter.

Dean had to wince at some of the tale. It sounded far too much like what they had to go through.

Raven had joined the European division of the group, and had moved to America to avoid his growing notoriety and the memories. Once there he entered into the "magical Witness Protection" and had his name legally changed. Raven for his hair color and he took his last name from an ancestor on his mother's side.

And once he tracked down the last remaining North American member of the Men of Letters, he got the key to the back door (which lead straight through the motor pool) and agreed to maintain the library since the people who were supposed to do it were wiped out by Abbadon years ago.

Sure he was technically a junior member of the Men of Letters, but he was a legacy and he had magic to speed things up.

Raven got a home, they got a legacy to come and take care of the place, and everyone walked away happy.

Well, everyone but the angels.

"Damn. And here I thought our lives were crappy," said Dean, taking a large drink of his bottle.

"Well your lives make the top ten of crappy childhoods, but at least you _had_ something close to a childhood. I didn't even get that much."

"Hell, you're practically an honorary Winchester."

"Honorary my ass," said Raven, swinging off the stool he was sitting on. He went into his room and brought back...a long piece of parchment.

Dean looked amused...right up until he recognized a name.

"No way."

"We're fourth cousins once removed. And that's before you get into the Campbell family, who have been legacies for even longer. Of course Henry Winchester appears to have used some sort of time spell to avoid being killed by Abaddon when she showed up and went on a rampage. I wouldn't be surprised if your grandfather suddenly showed up in the near future looking the same as he did when he vanished."

"How do you know this?"

"Zachariah has been a very busy angel. After I found out he was the primary force responsible for most of the crap I've lived with all these years until the 'prophecy' was completed, I decided a little payback was in order. So I did some digging...which ironically brought me to the attention of the Men of Letters. Through them I've been making a timeline tracking each and every movement of that damn seraph while he's on Earth or using his minions."

Raven lead Dean to another room, one he generally didn't bother with.

There was a massive white board with dates, places, and what happened.

The further Dean went on the board...the more pissed he got. Seeing his expression, Raven shrugged.

"Like I said, I've been tracking him after the fact. I figured if I got the jump on the bastard I'd be able to repay him for half the crap I've gone through in spades. Throwing a wrench in his plan to kick start the Apocalypse seemed like a good start."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. If you made a real deal, you'd get sent straight to Alistair where he'd break you and get you to wreck the first seal holding Lucifer the arch angel in his cage in hell. Not that I have anything against Lucifer personally, but I do against Zachariah."

Raven pulled out a random book of old prophecies from before America was even a proper country and read out the words for Dean's benefit since it was in old Latin. Not exactly something a hunter could read.

" _And so it shall be that the Righteous Man spills blood in the Pit of Damnation, and the First Seal shall be broken by his hand."_

Raven closed the book.

"For some unknowable reason, you fit the definition of 'The Righteous Man'. I have no idea why they're so fixated on you, but I suspect it has something to do with a convergence of bloodlines that create the True Vessels of the arch angels of Heaven. If I'm right, then you're supposed to be the true vessel of the arch angel Micheal. And that would also mean Sam might be the vessel for Lucifer himself."

Dean paled.

"Isn't Micheal a good guy?"

"Dean, angels have been away from Earth and the influence of humanity for centuries, if not longer. They're more akin to self-righteous warriors of god than fluffy idiots with halos. Remember the Crusades? Consider them the Templar ransacking Constantinople all in the name of their holy quest without a thought of the consequences or a care of the lives they've destroyed. They don't care about _humans_. They only take note when the higher demons start causing trouble."

Raven's eyes darkened.

"And the few decent angels I've met are generally those that have chosen to abandon the heavenly plain in favor of living among humans. Word on the supernatural grapevine is that God himself has had it with Micheal and Lucifer's argument and has gone in hiding among the humans. Hell, _Gabriel_ left because he didn't want to be dragged into their fight."

Dean sighed.

"If heaven's not exactly pro-human, and there's no way Hell would help us...how are we supposed to _survive_?"

His green eyes glinted.

"By throwing in a wrench. Heaven's not going to do it's job and hell's more interested in dragging as many souls into the abyss as possible. So if both sides are against you...then it's time to say enough and call in the neutrals."

It was how he won the war, when he realized that neither side would let him leave to live out his remaining life in peace. He cast aside the Order of the Phoenix, and the Death Eaters were more inclined to kill him

So he tracked down every neutral and the students who had followed his lead before...and they started taking out anyone and everyone who tried to stop them. Good and bad alike, it made no difference. If they tried to stop them from using equal force to put an end to the bloodshed, they went down.

It was part of the reason no one was stupid enough to come bother him when he joined the Men of Letters. The last Ministry official who came to 'talk' to him left with enough spell damage that the Mediwizards at St. Mungo's had to put him in an isolation ward while they attempted to reverse half of it.

Raven had sent an apology, but had made it clear that next time he would _pay attention_ to the hexes he cast on anyone trying to bother him instead of flinging them by reflex.

They wisely left him the hell alone.


	3. Chapter 3

"What is that god-awful racket?" said Dean.

"You don't like folk music? I find it relaxing," said Raven with a straight face.

Dean looked him in the eye.

"Are you going to be playing this all day?"

"Maybe."

"Right...I'm going to be stealing the laptop and staying in my room with the radio on," said Dean flatly.

"I'll be sure to leave the tissues out," Raven shot back. He had the amusing sight of Dean stumbling on nothing on a cleaned floor. It was pretty obvious Dean planned to have some "alone" time to himself with the internet and the best wireless connection he had ever had. It wasn't like there were any women here he could hit on and Dean was most assuredly straight.

Snickering, Raven went back to his mirror. It was spelled and enchanted to show anything he focused on, and he wanted to focus on Sam Winchester. If playing music that wouldn't be out of place in a Wiccan's music collection was all it took to keep Dean far from what he was doing, then he'd play the music.

Raven frowned as he watched Ruby try...and fail...to seduce Sam. She looked increasingly agitated.

He didn't know why she was so fixated on the younger brother, but he stole a glance to the room he had been using to establish a timeline for Zachariah's movements in the past century.

If his guess was right, then Sam was Lucifer's vessel.

And what better way to convince him to say 'Yes' to the arch angel than to get him hopped up on demon's blood and turn him into an addict in the name of training his powers?

Looking at the calendar, he realized that Dean's time in "hell" would be up soon. Which meant he would have to arrange it so that Zachariah continued to believe that Dean had gone so deep into the pit that they had to search for him.

Perhaps he could switch out Dean with his brother Sam by playing the part of Ruby? Make it look like she had taken Sam somewhere off the grid to trick him into drinking the blood by getting into his pants?

Mind made up, Raven started to make arrangements.

He knew Loki was really an angel, suspected he was in fact the missing Gabriel.

If anyone could fake Dean's "rise" from Hell, it would be him.

Raven reached for his phone.

"Hey Lo'? I need a favor. Can you meet me at the usual spot? Thanks. Half an hour sound good to you?"

Raven went through the back door (which was the front door to him, seeing as how the key to the actual front had gone missing) and apparated to their usual meeting spot. He left the world music on to make sure Dean wouldn't come out save for food.

* * *

"So what's up Ray?" asked Loki, popping in a chocolate bar.

"I need you to fake Dean's rise from hell."

Loki blinked twice, then made a show of cleaning out his ears.

"I could have just sworn you asked me to..."

"Look I've known you were an angel since our first meeting. Blame your brothers for giving me a reason to develop an angel radar to go along with the demon one. I just didn't care because you didn't act like a self-righteous prick like the rest of them. But you're the only one who can fake a rise from Hell, and make your brothers belief that Dean was actually _in_ the pit."

"What's your game plan?" asked Loki seriously.

"Simple answer? I want to screw over Zachariah and any plans he has for the Winchesters. I have nothing against Lucifer or Micheal, but Zachariah pisses me off. And he's gunning for them in a big way. I have an entire wall dedicated to his movements and most of them involved the Winchesters in one form or another. He even set Abaddon against their grandfather who's missing in the time stream," said Raven flatly.

"He _what_."

"Zachariah told Abaddon where to find the North American branch of the Men of Letters, and Henry Winchester went missing with the front door key over fifty years ago...leaving his son John alone without a father. It was his initiation night...and I'm betting Abaddon followed him because the demon hasn't been heard from since."

Loki...no, this was Gabriel now...looked beyond pissed.

Setting up the brothers was one thing...working with Abaddon was something not even he could accept no matter what the circumstances. And Abaddon happened to be on his personal shit list for a variety of reasons.

"I'm in. That arrogant shit is going down hard, and I'll wring the answers out of that smug bastard even if I have to kill him," snarled Gabriel.

Raven pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Gabriel.

"What's this?"

"A talisman. I figured if I had any visitors that I actually wanted to invite inside Nevermore I'd need something that would allow them to bypass the wards. You'll need to key it into your signature, so even if someone takes it they can't use it. Zachariah was so pissed when he found out I had the bunker extra fortified to keep anything except for humans out. It'll withstand anything save a smiting."

Loki nodded, and once Raven told him how to key it to him he made sure to do it. Then he strung it around his neck.

"Let's go make a mockery of the Apocalypse. Though if Lucifer comes out I'll need a better reason than he's the devil to go after him. Who knows, I might be able to convert him," said Raven.

Seeing Gabriel's surprised...and relieved look, Raven shot him a comforting smile.

"I don't know what it's like to have family...but I know that you probably left to avoid being made to kill your brothers," said Raven.

"I hated the fighting. When I realized they were going to demand I chose a side, I ditched home and went into hiding," said Loki sadly. Raven gave him a proper hug, and Loki leaned into it.

"You're welcome to drop by any time, so long as you remember the pass key. I cannot _wait_ until that damn front door key comes back," said Raven.

"That bad?"

"I had to apparate on a _photo_ just to get into the damn thing, and then I had to find a way to free the back door which had become rusted over. I was trapped in that damn place for a month before I could get the door unstuck. Do you have any idea how hard it is to apparate based on an outdated photo?! Hell, do you have any clue how much dusting and upgrading I've had to do for the first year alone?"

Loki snickered.

"Laugh it up you big ham," grumbled Raven good naturedly.

"So...if I follow you then do I get some of your triple decker five fudge and caramel cake?" asked Loki hopefully.

"I knew giving you a slice had been a bad idea."

Loki gave him a pair of the most adorable puppy eyes. Raven sighed.

"I'll get the ingredients. Oh, and here's a copy of Dean's reaction to the fact his freedom was now at the mercy of a shut in bookworm," said Raven. Loki let out a cackle.

* * *

"What is _he_ doing _here_?" said Dean with a glare.

"He came here for the cake," deadpanned Raven.

"I thought this place was warded against anything and everything except humans?"

"It is. I gave Loki a key that was set only to him. I don't exactly _get_ many visitors way out here," said Raven.

Dean went quiet, then he looked at Loki.

"You hurt him and I'll end you personally."

Loki snorted, until he realized he was being serious.

"You're kidding, right? One, you've never known how to kill me in the first place, and two, I happen to be the closest thing to an actual friend he has left! Besides, you haven't tried his special creation or you'd never say something that stupid."

"Special creation?"

"Three layers of chocolate and vanilla cake with five different kinds of specialty fudge and with caramel separating the three cakes. It's got enough sugar in it to make dentists faint from horror, or rub their hands together in glee at the sheer number of cavities just one slice would produce in children. I made it in one of my more morbid moods when considering how Hermione would have reacted to the fact I was eating it. Her parents are...were... dentists."

Raven shot Loki a mock glare filled with a fond expression.

"This moron happens to be addicted to it, since I made the mistake of giving him the last slice of the first one I made."

Loki made it look like Raven had hurt him with that comment, but his grin made it clear it was fake.

Raven finished frosting the first cake...and then went to work on a different one. He made sure to give Loki a massive slice from the one he finished though.

Dean couldn't help the amused look on his face as the sounds coming out of Loki's mouth were positively orgasmic in nature. Almost like how he sounded when confronted with really, really good pie. Speaking of which...

"Do I smell pie?" he asked hopefully.

"Treacle tart. Figured since I was out might as well get the ingredients for that too. Oh, and cherry cobbler, apple cobbler, peach cobbler..." listed Raven.

"When Raven gets in the mood to cook, he tends to put large scale bakeries to shame with the quality and quantity," offered Loki, practically eating the spoon Raven handed him. If there was even a trace of sugar left on that thing, Dean would be surprised.

As Raven handed Dean a recently cooled peace of apple cobbler, he told Dean what was about to happen and why Loki was really there.

"We're going to fake your 'ascension' from hell."

Dean nearly choked on his pie. He had to take a long pull of the water Loki helpfully handed him before he could say in a slightly hoarse voice... "I'm sorry, I must have heard you wrong. You're going to _what_ now?"

"You want to keep the angels and hell from targeting Sam a second time, right?"

Dean nodded slowly.

"Well the easiest and most effective way to do that is to make it look like an angel found you in the pit and raised you from the dead. As far as heaven knows, you were sent to hell prematurely because of an attack. They've been storming the pit for 'years' hell time trying to locate you. So if we make it look like you just came out..."

"Okay, I get that, but what does _he_ have to do with this plan?"

"We're going to bury you alive. Not too deep, but enough to make it look convincing. I can't zap you into a cheap coffin, but he can. Along with any other...quirks...from those recently risen by angels."

Dean did not look happy.

"It's either this or we give Ruby more time to try and seduce your brother. I'll be sure to kill her once she's out of sight of Sam, and you can claim plausible deniability when he asks."

Dean still didn't look happy about it.

"Once Zachariah's dead I'll start helping you out publicly with your hunts."

"Okay, but I still don't like the idea of being buried alive."

"It's either you fake being dead or you spend who knows how long in hell with a master at the art of torture until you break. Your choice," said Loki flatly.

"Gee, you almost sound like you care," snarked Dean.

"I don't. Care that is. See you Winchesters think you're hot stuff, when in reality the only reason you're not dead yet is because all sorts of things want to use you for one end or another. The only Winchester who has a lick of common sense that I can tolerate is Raven, and he's only a Winchester because of one ancestor decided to sleep with the hot transfer that had to move home when she found out she was pregnant. Enough to be on several prospective radars, but not interesting enough to be targeted as frequently as you morons are," said Loki without a hint of hesitation.

Dean scowled at Loki, who ate his cake unrepentant.

"Now children, you're both pretty. Do I have to make you both do the dishes by hand or will you behave?" snarked Raven. Then he continued frosting his cake. "Besides we both know the only reason no one's bothered me is because I've been hiding here for the better part of a decade and stayed off the radar."

Loki shot Raven a sad look. He likely knew more than the bare bones of what Raven told Dean.

"I'm not an invalid Lo'," said Raven without turning around.

"No, you're just someone who's be so screwed over by heaven that you have trouble comprehending what love is, much less realizing when someone genuinely gives a damn about your well being," said Loki sadly.

Dean wisely didn't ask. It wasn't his place to know, and Raven would tell him if he felt it prudent.

* * *

 _Three days later..._

Dean gasped for air as dirt fell around him. It took him a minute for his eyes to adjust and when they did it looked like someone had dropped a bomb. Or set one off. Either way the place looked leveled for a good hundred feet around his 'grave'.

First things first...he needed something to drink and to know what the date was.

He felt like he was forgetting something. Something important.

He did know one thing though. He had to find Sam.

"Well?"

"It worked. Once Sam mentions 'Quoth the Raven' to Dean, he remember Nevermore enough to summon Zachariah. The sooner he's dead, the better," said Raven.

"Why Castiel?"

"I put a list of minor angels up on the dart board and threw one. It landed on Castiel three times," said Raven.

Loki made a face. It had been a pain in the ass to summon Castiel from wherever he was and pretty much show him where to find Dean's soul from the fake hell he had made. As far as the angel knew, Dean had broken in hell and the first seal fell.

Of course the demons knew better, but Lilith might believe Dean fell someplace they might have missed him and start breaking the seals anyway.

Raven was going to have a vindictive look of evil glee on his face when Loki...Gabriel...was through with that sanctimonious prick of a brother.


	4. Chapter 4

"How did you know where to find me, Sammy?" asked Dean.

"Quoth told me the general area you would be resurrected in," said Sam.

They were about to summon the force that brought Dean 'back' from hell. The thing was they needed a name, and Dean knew what it was.

The plan was to go see Pamela to get the information.

"Quoth?"

"Quoth the Raven..." started Sam, when Dean suddenly jerked.

He quickly pulled over to the side of the road as he got a sudden headache.

"Quoth the Raven, Nevermore," said Dean as if hit by a brick.

"Nevermore?"

"I'll explain later. First we need a few things and knowing him he's probably watching us as we speak so he can send in the cavalry."

Sam was utterly confused at this point.

Dean made a call to Bobby, had Sam confirm it was him, and then they both drove to a warehouse far, far from any inhabited areas. Considering what was about to happen, they didn't need witnesses.

The moment they entered the empty warehouse, Dean started spray painting symbols that neither man recognized. They looked old though.

"What in the hell are these?"

"Insurance that the sanctimonious bastard doesn't vanish once he realizes why I summoned him and not the lackey who brought me back," said Dean.

Zachariah was in for a _nasty_ surprise when Dean trapped his sorry ass.

Dean pulled out the bottle of holy oil Raven had thoughtfully hidden in his trunk, and made a circle.

The Enochian barriers were there to keep Zachariah from realizing there was a circle of holy oil on the floor. Raven had made absolutely certain Dean would know how to trap the bastard long enough for Gabriel to show up with Raven.

Bobby and Sam watched with some confusion as Dean used the summoning spell.

"Now we wait," said Dean.

"Wait for what?"

"Someone who's been setting us up to fall since before we were even born," said Dean darkly.

"Dean, what the hell is going on?" asked Sam.

Dean didn't answer. He didn't have the time to, considering Zachariah would arrive soon.

When the door opened, Dean took one look at the man before him and frowned.

"You're not Zachariah," he said flatly.

The man looked far too much like an older, less bookish Raven. The only thing missing was the glasses and the hint of a scar Dean had caught a glimpse of once. Oh, and the fact he had stubble.

"My name is Castiel."

"I sent for Zachariah."

"He is busy," said Castiel tonelessly.

"Fuck! There went that plan," said Dean.

"Plan?"

Dean looked upwards, because he knew Raven and Loki were watching anyway the moment he said the word "Nevermore".

"You want to field this or should I?"

The other three in the room looked absolutely confused until Loki showed up.

"I'll deal with Castiel, you have the fun time of explaining things to them," said Loki cheerfully.

"Ass," said Dean.

Loki gave him the one-fingered salute before absconding with his little brother.

"Dean...what. The. Hell."

Dean turned to a confused and suspicious pair of hunters.

"It's a long story...and we're going to need beer."

"You explain now or I'm shooting you," said Bobby.

"Fine. Heaven and hell are apparently trying to set Lucifer free, so that he and Micheal can go at it in their true vessels and wipe out half the planet. Or do you want the long version?" snarked Dean.

"What."

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Bobby and Sam were _still_ looking at Dean with suspicion, and it was driving him nuts.

It wasn't _his_ fault Loki was taking so damn long. Or that Zachariah had opted to send a lackey rather than show up in person!

"You're telling us that we have a cousin," said Sam slowly.

"A bigger bookworm and nerd than you could hope to be."

"One who just _happens_ to own the largest library on the supernatural and _natural_ magic in North America, that he became caretaker of because Winchesters are legacies to the order and because the North American branch was taken out."

"I can prove it's real," said Dean defensively.

Seeing their skepticism, Dean swiped Sam's laptop, to his protest.

Raven had _shown_ him the article that mentioned their grandfather BY NAME. It took a minute to load, but once it did he slide the laptop back to his brother.

"' _Mysterious fire in local free mason chapter.,'_ " read Sam out loud...before he suddenly stopped and looked at Dean. "Henry _Winchester_?"

"Our grandfather. According to him, Henry escaped with the front door key, but the spell he used was so broad that he might pop up years after he intended. Dad never said what happened to him, but according to Ray the angel that screwed him over has been interfering in the lives of the Winchester line for well over a century."

"His name is Ray?" asked Sam, latching on to that fact.

"Actually he's been sending you mystery e-mails so you wouldn't become depressed enough to fall for Ruby's bullshit," said Dean.

"Quoth?! Our cousin is Quoth?"

"His name is _Raven_ , he just thought the username was funny."

"Well if you're a Poe fan, sure..." said Sam.

"He's definitely into that New Age crap," said Dean making a face. "You know that stuff hippies listen to while high on weed while supposedly worshiping some goddess or another?"

Sam snickered. He could imagine the look on Dean's face having to listen to that for hours.

"So when do we meet him?"

"We have to find a way to trap Zachariah first. One of his...older brothers...wants a word with him about the demon he convinced to visit the Men of Letters. Apparently it's someone that is high on the angel's shit list."

"Why?" asked Bobby.

"Let's think. He sent a Knight of Hell after our grandfather, made sure our parents got together, allowed a demon to convince our mother into a deal so he could kill her, did nothing about the demon that went after Sam in Stanford, allowed a gate of hell to be opened, and they didn't bother to try and 'retrieve me' from hell until _after_ they thought I broke and started torturing people. They _want_ us to hunt, but they don't want us working off more than just the bare bones of information."

"You'll need more than an article to convince me that you're not hallucinating, boy," said Bobby flatly.

"How about Skype?"

Seeing them look at him funny, he made a face.

"The brat made me create a damn account so we could contact him without him having to leave Nevermore, alright?"

Sam pushed his laptop over again. Dean entered his account, then 'called' Raven from Nevermore. It connected instantly. Not surprising since Raven was a damn voyeur with that mirror of his. He had it set to activate whenever someone said the words "Nevermore" and "Raven" more than once in the same sentence.

" _Quoth's House of Research. What's your supernatural issue today?"_ said the insanely cheerful voice of Raven. Then he saw who was 'calling' him. _"Hi Dean! Did you get over the case of crabs Loki gave you for spiking his cake?"_

Dean glared while Sam unsuccessfully tried to hide his laughter.

"You know I didn't spike his cake!"

" _No, but Loki left some crustaceans in your trunk."_

"Son of a..." said Dean, running outside to confirm Loki hadn't done just that to amuse Raven. His yelp said that yes, Loki had left some live lobsters in his trunk and that they had nailed him with their claws.

Sam snickered, then looked at the man on the other side of the screen.

"So...you're our cousin?"

" _Fourth cousin once removed on your dad's side, and on my mother's side. I got enough Winchester in my bloodline to get into trouble, but not enough that I end on Hell's radar, so to speak."_

"How did you get Dean off his contract?"

" _The dumbass didn't make one. I pretended to be Crowley, the current King of the Crossroads long enough to make it look like he had...then I used something I found in my family's vault to bring you back. There's more than a few reasons I've been holed up in this library than my bloodline. Quite a few people would like to see some of the books I have in my possession_ permanently _lost."_

"Wait...you brought me back to life?"

" _Again, there are certain books that both sides would like to see permanently lost. And the gods that rule the books I have were happy to allow me to use them to bring you back because it would piss off the angels long term. So long as I'm in the picture, neither of you will have to make a deal in order to resurrect the other. Of course they do require a sacrifice if you're dead longer than a few weeks. The body does have a limited shelf span before it starts to rot after all."_

Bobby immediately latched on to that.

"Say someone's been dead for over a few years. What sort of sacrifice are we talking about?"

Raven left the screen for a moment.

" _Hang on... what sort of timetable are we talking about, and how squeamish are you?"_

"Over twenty and it depends," he said.

" _Ah, here we are! Okay, for anything less than fifty years, but more than twenty-five you would need to ritually sacrifice... Wow, they seriously want people to make a commitment. Okay, you have the option of sacrificing two steers and five pigs. Or you can pick a demon in an already dead body and sacrifice their soul in exchange for the one you're trying to bring back. It's a one-time commitment."_

"I'm not going to be in debt for this am I?"

" _The gods that govern death like me because I generally don't use their powers indiscriminately and happen to be properly respectful when asking for a favor. Also they really, really don't like Lucifer's creations, so if you kill the demon you're less likely to end up having to owe them one. Of course we'd need the body nearby in order to pull this off,"_ said Raven matter of fact.

Sam was quiet, but he clearly had an idea of who Bobby wanted back.

"It's Karen isn't it?" said Sam.

Bobby wouldn't look him in the eye.

"Ruby's currently in a body that is legally dead," offered Sam quietly.

"This better not require my soul as payment," said Bobby.

" _You're kidding right? If it required a_ soul _like some common two-bit demon deal, what in Loki's name makes you think I'd bother resurrecting Dean's brother for only four months of service, or that I would keep him_ alive _? No offense."_

"None taken," said Sam.

"Raven, tell that ass Loki I'm going to kick his ass for the damn lobsters!" said Dean, holding a box of still angry crustaceans.

" _Why? He just sent you dinner after all~!"_ cackled Raven, before he was about to log off.

"I like my food fresh, but not _this_ fresh you idiot!"

Raven cracked up as he ended the call.

"Dean?"

"We're having lobster for dinner. Help me kill these damn things will you?" said Dean, his face twitching from annoyance.

"...I have a recipe for boiled lobster that's halfway good," offered Bobby.

Finding out that someone had a way to actually bring his wife back sounded a bit too good to be true. Especially when it was something he had no experience with.

* * *

 _In Nevermore_

"So what's the plan?"

"We wait until Dean has Ruby tied down, then we sacrifice her sorry ass to bring back Mr. Singer's wife. It puts me in their good books, gets rid of a nuisance before she does any more damage and it'll piss off the White-Eyed Bitch herself," said Raven.

"I don't like this."

"Well it's not like I'm asking them to sacrifice a virgin on the eave of her wedding night," deadpanned Raven. "Besides I can re-open the old networks and bring in some new blood to help with the collection."

"You mean like that cop that got your attention in Portland? What was his name..."

"Nick Burkhardt. One of those poor bastards who inherited the gene of True Sight. You know...Grimms."

"Ouch."

"Fortunately I knew there was activity from the shapeshifter clans, because I found the bloodline relatively quickly. Poor man had no idea what he was actually dealing with until I called him."

And boy, hadn't he been shocked being contacted by an informant only known as "Quoth". Though it was debatable if he was more shocked than his temporary partner, a Blutbad...or one of the people descended from the werewolf tribes that fully merged with their inner wolf.

Those that descended from the animal-shapeshifting tribes called themselves Wesen. Unless a Grimm was a complete novice, they generally didn't ask for help.

In the case of the detective, he was only just starting out. He hadn't been raised by the Grimms in his family, so he had no idea what he was doing.

He seemed relieved to have a reliable source outside of his family archives to fall back on, even if they couldn't help with the hunting.

Monroe (the Blutbad) seemed to be having a star-struck moment when it came to Quoth. Apparently word had spread shortly after he came up with the username about a researcher with access to a massive...and old...library. Meeting him, even if it was through Skype, was like a dream for the wolf.

Raven wondered how he'd react when he found out that "Quoth" had sent him a copy of one of his older Germanic books detailing Blutbaden.

He'd probably get a kick out of it. Raven certainly did after he bribed Loki into giving him True Sight and started seeing Wesen.

"You're going to open a Portland chapter using this detective, aren't you?"

"I'm hoping to. It sounds like a good way to open up the lines of communication with the Grimms, seeing as how the Men of Letters only had a connection with a few hunters."

"You're going to make an organization," said Loki.

"Hunters and Grimms would be more efficient if they were part of a collective group. Something _official_ would make things infinitely easier with the cops and others."

The closest thing that the hunters had to a group was the bar that was run by Ellen Harvelle. After it was burned down in a demon attack they didn't really have a place to relax and swap stories.

Raven really, really wanted to throw open the bunkers, fortify the as thoroughly as possible, and start a proper network for the hunters. With how connected the world was getting these days, being a rogue agent wasn't going to cut it much longer.

They needed to be official, if only to avoid being picked off by the people they were trying to save because of a misunderstanding.

Good thing Raven had an 'in' with the magical government, who had an in with the normal one.


	5. Chapter 5

Zachariah was angry. Strike that, he was furious. A blip on the world that he had created to deal with a particularly difficult witch had suddenly decided to come out of hiding. And if that wasn't bad enough, had clearly sided with the Winchesters to the point he was using _pagan_ magic to insure that neither of them would make a deal.

He still didn't know where Castiel had vanished off to, as his vessel had suddenly been dumped in a hospital claiming temporary amnesia and had his mind wiped enough that they couldn't get anything off of it.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the older Winchester was clearly trying to lure him into a trap, though why he still had no idea. He suspected Raven wanted to deep fry him for personal reasons as payment for resurrecting the stain known as Sam.

Well he would make the older wait. He didn't particularly care for humans much anyway.

He was more concerned with the anomaly that should have remained among his own kind in his country.

Harry Potter...now Raven Winchester.

The brat had done his job, albeit highly reluctantly and he required some very strong motivation...but rather than quietly settle down or take out those that abused their gift, he went to the one group that Zachariah had personally wiped off the map.

The Men of Letters. Had the Winchester stayed away, he would have ignored them.

Now it looked like he would have to do some long overdue damage control to put things back on track.

At least, that was the plan.

* * *

 _In Nevermore..._

"Dammit. It looks like Zachariah knows somethings up, so we can't catch him. We might have to act directly to get Micheal's attention."

Loki winced. He had been staying _off_ the radar for a reason.

"You don't have to talk to your brother directly...but letting him know there's a strong possibility that one of his soldiers has consorted with a Knight might get him to reconsider this nonsense," said Raven.

"We don't even have proof he was involved!" said Gabriel. "Just a strong hunch from what you've been able to piece together!"

"Well there is _one_ way to get proof...and I really don't want to be waiting for a decade for that key to come back."

"You want me to time travel and find out what spell he used?" asked Gabriel.

"Think of it this way...we find a way to _properly_ trap Abaddon so Micheal can question the demon himself, we bring Henry back where he belongs, and I'll finally be able to use the front door since the damn thing is magic resistant."

Gabriel perked up at that.

"Are you going to get extra nasty?"

"It's a demon, Loki. Nasty is a requirement, not a question," Raven shot back.

"I'm in."

* * *

"So where is this Nevermore anyway?"

"No clue. He made damn sure I never got a good look outside, mostly because if I had been spotted the game would have been up. But he did give me the address of a lesser bunker and he said he'd be there when we brought..." started Dean, but he didn't need to say it.

Finding out that Bobby might have a chance to get his wife back was something they didn't want to discuss. The only reason he considered it was because Dean was adamant that this was nothing like a demon deal.

If they had the chance, they might as Raven to bring their mother back. If she could be brought back, considering how she died.

"So where are we going?"

"Roswell, New Mexico," said Dean.

Sam blinked, then turned to look at his brother.

"Seriously?"

"Only the youngest members were sent there. Quoth's considered the most senior member of the North America branch, even if they aren't actually operating much these days. They pretty much shut down around here after the incident."

Dean was quiet, before he looked back behind them to where Bobby was following them.

"So, can you summon Ruby or will we have to capture her?"

"I'll summon her," said Sam. Since she seemed fixated on _him_ for some bizarre reason, she would answer. Unlike this angel that they kept trying to catch.

Castiel had been particularly helpful once he was sidelined by Loki, though it was limited. He didn't know enough to be useful. At least they had given the poor bastard Castiel had chosen to be his vessel a break. The man had a wife and child...he didn't need to be running around the country instead of providing for his family.

Fortunately he didn't mind making sure the books went where they were supposed to be after yet another research marathon. Raven didn't like using his magic to simply re-shelve the things. Or doing Raven's least favorite chore...dishes.

"How much do you know about Raven anyway?"

"Just what he's told me, and that was because he was having an episode."

"Episode?"

"He has PTSD. It's not frequent, but it happens often enough to be an issue. Also there might have been some talk of getting a dog eventually."

Sam perked up at that, being an avid lover of all things canine.

Raven met with them inside the lesser bunker. It was really more of a safe house than a place to study. He had visited them all, of course, but he lived in the original.

"Well come on, get in, get in! We don't have all day!" he said impatiently.

Dean helped Bobby carry an awkward bulk into a smaller room which had plenty of Egyptian symbols and a table to lay the remains. Thanks to a minor charm to rid the smell, it was tolerable to be in the room.

The door had a line of pure iron to prevent escapes.

"Alright, Sam you summon Ruby. Make sure it's her, otherwise this could get awkward."

Sam nodded, and went into the room next to where Bobby was. What he didn't notice until he was in the second room was that one of the walls wasn't solid. Investigation revealed that the wall that lead to the other room was a folding one, which was lined with salt.

* * *

 _In the other room..._

"So how does this work?"

"I'll read from the Book of the Dead, basically asking the old gods to bring her soul back. Once Ruby is in position, I'll give the signal and you'll stab the twit with the demon-killing knife. By doing so you'll sacrifice her soul to the old gods, and basically ask for a trade. A life for a life. If they accept, then your wife's body will be resurrected using the 'essence' of the body Ruby's in, since it has been a while."

"How do we know this will work?" asked Dean.

"Again, it resurrected my great aunt Evelyn before the Second World War. Of course the last time they did a restoration it had taken the lives of anyone stupid enough to open the chest the book was originally in, and that was for a mummy by the name of Imhotep. He pretty much ended up on the shit list of the pharaoh's bodyguards because he tried to resurrect his girlfriend, who happened to be the pharaoh's mistress. She and Imhotep also happened to murder the pharaoh less than a month before."

Dean stared.

"Isn't that the plot for the _Mummy_ trilogy?" he asked slowly.

"It's more or less based on the real story, just with some judicious editing and tweaking of the full story. For one thing her brother's name wasn't Jonathan, nor did they live in London. Because they didn't have any heirs, all their stuff that wasn't thrown out was placed in the family vault, where I found them by accident before leaving England. Among them were both of the infamous books."

And for some reason, the big ass diamond that Evelyn's brother stole from the Scorpion King's pyramid. Apparently he took out a loan rather than sell his most important contribution to the Potter family.

Even if the thing was a bad luck magnet.

"So what do I do?" asked Dean.

"You get to move the divider and break the salt line so her essence can be properly swapped," said Raven, pointing at the wall to the room next door. "This is actually one long room, but there's a divider so that it can be shortened to two square rooms."

Not to mention the white-board walls.

Everyone was in position, including an unsuspecting Ruby.

Raven used nonverbal cues for Dean to remove the dividing wall, and he did so without his cousin once breaking his stride.

That was about the time Ruby realized something was up...and she wasn't going to like it one bit.

Raven nodded to Bobby without once stopping and the older hunter knew it was his turn. Thanks to the fact the room Ruby was in had been _designed_ to sap demons of their powers (by a very enthusiastic Raven who had looked up all the appropriate symbols and drawn them on the walls), there was no way for her to reasonably throw Bobby away from her.

Seeing the ghostly spirit of Karen Singer enter the body, her sudden gasp was all the signal he needed to plunge the demon knife firmly into Ruby's already dead body. With the salt line firmly broken when Bobby crossed the boundary of the rooms, there was a tense moment as nothing seemed to happen.

Then Ruby light up like a Christmas tree and her essence was dragged screaming by a spectral figure with a jackal's head and clear Egyptian features, including his clothing. The tall and rather terrifying figure nodded to Raven, who nodded back respectfully before finishing the spell.

Ruby's body started to decay at an accelerated rate as the body under the tarp started to fill out.

When there wasn't even dust or bones left, the tarp fell away to reveal a suddenly resurrected Karen looking quite befuddled and somewhat freaked out. Considering her clothes _hadn't_ been part of the restoration spell, they left her something to wear and left Bobby to explain things to her. At least until Raven had a chance to tell her _how_ she was alive again.

* * *

 _Outside the rooms_...

"Well that was interesting. Who was the jackal though?"

"Anubis, right?" asked Sam.

Raven nodded.

"Generally speaking when invoking the dead, Osiris is the one you ask, but considering the sheer level of natural damage done, Anubis filled in. He _is_ after all the god of mummification. Since we were trading the soul of a demon and using a barely living body, he accepted the trade for Mr. Singer's wife as acceptable and allowed her to be brought back. She'll still go back to heaven when her life span has ended, but for now she's alive and well. Can't say the same for Ruby though."

"How bad are we talking about here?"

"Let's just say that few of the true old gods appreciate Lucifer or his creations, as he was very big on the whole smiting thing whenever he ran into a so-called 'god'. Well, he was when he was still a dutiful son anyway, before his argument with Micheal got out of hand."

Bobby came out at that point, looking rather tired but somewhat happier than he had been.

"So that's it?"

"Ruby's soul and essence were traded in exchange for your wife. The old gods don't mind a little work so long as you're properly respectful and follow procedure, and to be honest the gods that govern death have always liked me more than most. She'll go back to heaven when her time is done, and your soul will remain yours so long as you don't make any deals with the pit. I was doing most of the heavy lifting anyway for this trade," said Raven shrugging.

"She's still confused on what happened," said Bobby.

"I'll go in an explain it to her once I call Loki in for some back-up to convince her the supernatural does in fact exist. For now we should rest, get something decent to eat, and then get back to work."

The hunters all nodded in agreement. That was a mentality they could get behind, and Sam was already wanting to geek out with even a fraction of the books in the bunker.

"Wow. When you resurrect the dead you don't skimp out," said Loki impressed.

"Again, the gods of the dead like me. Probably because instead of going around parading those items, I chose to become a researcher and the few times I summoned them to see which one handed over the damn things I was properly respectful. Besides, a demon provides a lot more supernatural power than a simple human," said Raven.

"True."

Karen seemed to be taking it all better than most. It didn't hurt that Loki showed off his spectral wings and flat out told her she would go back to where Anubis had borrowed her from once her time was naturally up. The only reason they had used Ruby was because they needed the extra kick without demanding human sacrifice...something she was openly relieved Bobby would never have agreed to no matter how much he wanted her back.

Of course this time Bobby would make damn sure she was much better protected. And he knew how to exorcise demons, so a repeat was very, very unlikely.

"Well Mrs. Singer, would you like to greet the two boys Bobby took in as his own sons when their father couldn't be the parent they needed?" asked Raven kindly.

Karen took a deep breath.

"I think I would like that," she said.

* * *

It was official. Sam and Raven had a bromance over dogs and books. Dean was trying very, very hard not to make smarmy comments about the two getting a room.

Listening to Sam and Raven argue about which breed was better, then seamlessly shift to classical books they've both read (Raven was a die hard _Lord of the Rings_ buff), Dean couldn't keep the grin off his face. He wondered how Sammy would react to Nevermore, as this place barely held a fraction of the library that Raven watched over.

Raven meshed with them easily. He had Sam's love of books and research, and a daredevil side to match Dean at his worst.

Of course the moment Raven started to spout esoteric and random bits of mythology no one really cared about any more, Dean broke out laughing at the look on Sam's face. Clearly, he had found his soul mate for all things nerdy. He wasn't alone...Loki was also cackling and making comments on how they should find a room.

Dean had a sense of deep satisfaction knowing that at least he didn't get a stinging hex to the ass for it.


	6. Chapter 6

It was official. Someone noticed Karen's soul leaving heaven and Ruby's soul suddenly going missing...and it wasn't Lilith.

Because Castiel had taken himself out of the reach of heaven... he could legitimately claim it was under orders of an angel higher than Zachariah if and when they discovered where he went missing... they had had to scramble to find another angel to watch the Winchesters.

Personally Gabriel was restless, as he wanted to deal with the traitorous Zachariah and be done with it. He was hopeful that Raven could help him talk some sense into Micheal. At least enough to drop the whole "bring Lucifer out of the cage early" bit.

Coward that he was, Gabriel hated the idea of being forced to kill any of his siblings...well, except Zachariah but he had dug his own grave there.

Why they chose _Uriel_ of all angels to act as the go-between, he would never understand. Uriel clearly hated Sam, which put him in Dean's bad books. If not for the sigils on Karen's bones, the older angel would have realized that there was a major fly in the ointment for the 'start the apocalypse' plan.

Anyone who could remotely wield even a fraction of the powers required to bring someone dead for well over twenty years back to life successfully with no drawbacks was someone that could easily derail the plan without a second thought.

As it was, Zachariah wouldn't hesitate to end Raven if he left the bunker for more than an hour.

Then again, that's why he mostly used Castiel to get the groceries and never bothered with magical wards outside of ones to trap anyone stupid to teleport or appear in the bunkers in a holding cell where magic suddenly entered a dead zone.

Only Raven could freely travel between bunkers using magic. Everyone else had to use a specially made pass key like the one he gave Loki, and those were generally temporary.

Still, after properly meeting Raven for the first time, Dean now had an unlimited ammo to tease his brother with. Sam had finally met his match and could properly get his 'geek on' as Dean lovingly called it.

It didn't help that Raven was able to seamlessly join the 'verbal quipping' as he called it in his smooth British accent.

The first time he did that Loki literally fell off his chair laughing his ass off.

Dean and Sam had gotten into one of their half-hearted arguments when Raven smoothly interjected "Girls, you're both pretty but we all know that the ladies go more wild for the hot foreigner than they would for the bad boy or oversized moose."

Bobby's chuckling as they both turned to give him a scandalized look hadn't helped.

At least Raven had effectively proven he could hold his own against the Winchester brothers in a verbal fight...but they had yet to see him fully cut loose.

* * *

Dean wasn't the only one cursing when he realized that all the ghosts had one thing in common. They were all people they couldn't save.

Karen was firmly left behind in the panic room, as she had zero experience with hunting, save for her brief stint as a meat suit for a demon. Considering how pale she became when faced with something as easy as a pissed off ghost, it was probably a good thing she didn't argue.

Either way, none of them were in a mood to deal with Uriel or his condescending attitude problem when the spell was broken.

If Dean happened to have a few bullets Raven had spelled to do damage even to an angel that he shot at Uriel, well, none of the others said a thing about it.

* * *

It had barely been a week...but Dean was already sick and bloody tired (he blamed Raven for picking up that new use of the word 'bloody') of being jerked around by the damn angels.

Fortunately, he had a remedy for that.

Dean reached into his pocket for some chalk, and then went to the corner store where he bought the best chocolate he could get.

He knew Loki well enough that he could figure out the best way to summon the ass.

Though he had to admit, running into his dad before he was a prick was surprising. The fact that he was responsible for his dad buying his beloved Impala was pretty damn weird though. It was even stranger seeing his mom as a young woman and not the tired one he remembered.

Dean took his chalk and started to draw on the ground outside of town. It was off the main road, so it was unlikely anyone would realize what he was doing.

He put the chocolate bars in the center of the circle and prayed to Loki rather than trying to forcibly summon him. He didn't want an irritated Trickster on his case.

"You rang~?" droned the Trickster in a manner befitting Lurch. He dove into the chocolate with glee, looking at Dean with interest. It took him a few seconds to realize something was off with him. "You're a long way from home."

"No shit sherlock. Your brothers are complete dicks and I still have no idea why they dragged my ass all the way into the past. It's weird enough seeing my dad before he turned into a total prick," deadpanned Dean. Hearing Loki almost choke on his candy, Dean cut him off before he could say anything. "And don't bother denying you're nothing more than a trickster. I'm sure you wouldn't want me to find any holy oil."

Loki's eyes narrowed.

"You're pretty sure of yourself for someone dragged this far back."

"Yeah, well Zachariah's a douche and we're pretty certain he's behind Abaddon going after the Men of Letters. Besides, out of all the supernatural things I've hunting, you're the _least_ irritating thing I could have summoned."

Loki's eyes widened and his anger spiked at the mention of Abaddon, but he controlled it admirably.

"Let me guess...you want me to send you back home before _they_ force you to do something stupid."

"As amusing as it would be to meet my parents, I have the feeling I'd only do more harm than good and there's no way a demon would be able to send me home without wanting my soul in return. Hell, Raven's not even _born_ yet, so he's out."

Raven had admitted he was about Dean's age, and that he hadn't been born until the late 80's.

"What's in it for me?"

"You get to help me tag-team against Raven and Sam when I get back in an all out prank war against the nerds," said Dean immediately.

"Tempting, but not good enough to possibly put me back on heaven's radar, even for a short time."

Dean was stumped...until he realized he had one thing he could bargain.

"I know the location of a bunker filled with things to combat the supernatural. It's not the main one, but it's still pretty valuable to anyone trying to hide out."

Raven wasn't born yet, and there wasn't any extras that he had added since taking over...like the ward that required a pass key to get in.

"Hmm. Tempting."

"It's in Roswell, New Mexico. As in the same place where they say aliens supposedly crash landed."

Loki snorted.

"I'll have to check that out later, but it's still not enough. But I suppose you're decent enough that I'll give you some help."

Dean's relief was obvious. Even a little help would be worth a lot this far back when he was completely out of his element.

No Impala, he only had the weapons on him, and he didn't have Raven to call in a pinch, let alone Bobby. Odds were that his wife was still alive, or he had just _started_ hunting. Not exactly useful to have during whatever this was.

"Just so we're clear, I'm ditching you the second it looks like the angels take too much of an interest in me," said Loki.

"Fair enough. They're monumental dicks, so I can see why you left when the argument got out of hand."

Loki gave him an odd look, accepting the other bars without a word.

"How well do we know each other in the future?"

"Not well, but you're the only friend a cousin of mine has that he still talks to. I know you left when Micheal and Lucifer's argument got out of hand rather than be dragged into it, and that you've been hiding as Loki ever since. That and you're a total sugar nut."

Loki's expression became really odd.

"You know all that but you didn't summon me with my real name?"

"Would you have answered? I mean Raven's probably guessed who you actually are, but he still calls you Loki. Besides, it would have drawn way too much attention from that dick Uriel."

The less he saw of Uriel, the happier he was.

Loki almost bolted when Dean finally met his grandparents properly, though it was clear their daughter was glad to give up hunting when she had the chance.

Dean debated telling her about that night, but remembered one of Raven's long ass discussions involving time travel.

Certain events were time-locked, some would simply make things worse if meddled in.

Events like his mother's death. If he said anything he could make things infinitely worse like drawing a high-level demon to his grandparents. Yes, it was tragic and he missed her terribly, but the sad fact was that without it he never would have become a hunter...thus possibly negating his own existence.

He still didn't know what his mother saw in John though.

Loki was clearly holding back a snort when he heard Dean's cover story for why he was there. Lying was an art form, one that Dean had learned early on.

Claiming he had just come off a bender from a really nasty hunt involving a wendigo was a good plan...and no one could honestly say dealing with those monsters was ever pleasant. It even neatly explained why he had no memory of coming to Lawrence...and he claimed Loki readily as his partner on the hunt, stating that he had come to drag his ass back to the safe house.

Samuel Campbell bought the lie easily enough...Dean had answered his questions like a seasoned hunter and he was obviously holding things back. Finding out he had been named after his maternal grandmother was a surprise though.

And as much as Dean wanted to kill the demon that set his father on the path of a hunter, he knew that the idea was pointless and liable to drag more people into the crossfire than he intended.

Securing a place to stay for the night was fairly easy.

All he had to do was pass on a little piece of useful knowledge to the Campbells.

How to prevent a demon possession. He always carried the amulets Raven mass produced, mostly out of habit.

Handing over four of them (one for each hunter and one for John himself) wasn't any hardship for him.

And shortly after a rather disastrous date with his future parents, Dean was unceremoniously yanked back into his time.

He had no idea the consequences of handing over something as simple and useful as anti-possession necklaces.

* * *

Dean was bed bound for a full day as he was hit with double memories. One set was the memories he knew well enough. Memories of only having John there to raise them, with days when Bobby took on the role of parent while John was on a case too dangerous to risk his sons.

The other one was kicking his ass now.

He _remembered_ his grandparents on his mom's side. Samuel and Deanna Campbell had died before he had a chance to know them originally. Handing them the anti-possession amulets and avoiding any action that would draw the attention of a high-level demon like Azazel meant that they lived long past the night Mary agreed to marry her boyfriend.

What's more was that while his grandfather died trying to protect Mary, Deanna survived.

More than that, she had been pissed enough when she realized that the supernatural was _deliberately_ targeting her grandchildren and their father. Dean suspected Loki had something to do with her training John in how to be a hunter.

A fact Loki confirmed himself when Dean asked.

Which meant that they had to insure that Zachariah didn't off Deanna because of Dean's actions in the past.

"Where are we going?" asked Sam.

"We're going to visit grandma. Zachariah might not let her live much longer if he follows his usual pattern," said Dean.

"Grandma? You mean Grandma Deanna?" said Sam in surprise.

"Yeah. I'm betting the angels weren't expecting me to carry anti-possession amulets, let alone hand them over. I bet Zachariah was counting on me to be stupid enough to try and change the past directly."

Sam paused.

"How far back were you?" he said incredulous.

"I convinced _dad_ to buy the Impala, rather than some cheap minivan. What the hell do you think?" said Dean.

"Holy shit."

"I know right? You won't believe the pictures I have of mom and dad before we were born," said Dean. Then he grinned. "Or of our grandparents when they were younger. Did you know mom named us after her parents?"

"Really?"

"Samuel and Deanna Campbell. I still don't know what the hell mom saw in dad."

Deanna took one look at Dean, and her face flickered into something akin to annoyance.

"I was wondering when you would remember. Come in, come in," she said.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, but I figured the less you knew the less likely it would be you'd end up on hell's radar."

"You were right to guess that. If not for the amulets we would have died less than a month after you showed up. Mary didn't give John his until much too late."

"I know, I saw."

Deanna turned her attention to the silent Sam.

"I'm sorry about Jess. It's the curse of anyone born into traditional hunter's families, and it's only worse for you two."

Sam didn't wince, though his eyes grew sad.

"I found that out the hard way, Grandma," said Sam.

"Now, when am I going to meet this mysterious Quoth character who gave you those amulets?"

"I'm going to call him so he can take you to Nevermore directly. Until Zachariah and anyone who might have helped him with this plan are dead, it's not safe for you to be out in the open. I'm still surprised Loki got off his ass and told you the bare bones of what's going on."

"He didn't until after Samuel died. By then things went into motion that couldn't be stopped so readily. At least, not before after things had already gone too far."

Loki had shown up and flat out told Deanna that if she didn't train John in how to hunt, the boys might end up orphans. The man might be a soldier but he made for a crappy father.

Mary had complained often enough to her mother after Dean was born. So Deanna had told John what she was and taught him the little tricks of the trade.

By nightfall Deanna had moved out of her home and into Nevermore. Raven didn't mind, as there were plenty of empty rooms.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm not going," said Raven flatly.

"You don't get a choice. Either you come willingly or we'll drag your tiny British ass out of the bunker by force. Loki said he'd help too!" said Dean grinning evilly.

"Explain to me again the point of leaving my safe bunker to go out drinking."

"Again, you don't get a choice. You haven't left Nevermore since Zachariah found out you were going to be active with the Winchesters and openly thwarting his plans. You've had Castiel going out to get groceries, and then you complain when he doesn't get the fresh stuff you always pick out," said Loki. "You're going to Oktoberfest even if I have to snap you there."

Raven scowled.

"I haven't gone out drinking since that night before my friends were killed because some moron said the name and didn't care about the Taboo," said Raven.

"All the more reason you need to relax and take a few days away from the books," said Dean.

"Fine, but I'm challenging both of you idiots to a drinking contest the first chance I get."

Loki, to the side, was trying very, very hard not to laugh his ass off about something.

* * *

"Chug, Chug, Chug!" shouted an amused Loki, who wasn't even close to drunk.

Sam had tried to call off his part, but Loki wasn't having it.

So he now stuck with an almost guaranteed hangover from far too many drinks of what was probably watered down beer. Loki, the jerk, was still snickering about something.

Sam could vaguely see Loki taking bets with gusto.

Then he heard the thump as Dean finally lost the contest, and Raven, the cheeky bastard, drank two more and barely looked drunk at all.

Sam was barely able to shamble into the hotel room Raven had paid for (he had heard stories of what the Winchesters considered acceptable) and crashed onto the bed without bothering to cover up. Loki managed to put Dean into the other one, though he was nice enough to cover up Sam and his brother before heading to Raven's room.

He was out like a light within minutes.

 _In Raven's room..._

"Oh man, talk about lightweights," said Raven laughing. He was barely buzzed.

"Hey, not every human is lucky enough to have the ability to drink _Bacchus_ under the table you know," said Loki, snickering. "Here's your cut by the way."

"You're just mad because the first time I challenged you to a drinking contest, I was able to drink Thor and his buddies under the table while you could barely finish the pot," cackled Raven.

"And then you didn't even have the decency to have a monster hangover for a month!" complained Loki.

"Not my fault angels are lightweights."

"Brat."

"Old geezer," Raven shot back.

Raven had been truthful to the Winchesters and the others. He had been born human and he had lived as one for the better part of his life.

What he left out was that the last time he had died, the various gods of death in the universe had gotten tired of the damn shockwaves he kept sending out upon his 'demise', no matter how temporary it was.

So they banded together, and shortly before yet another one of his mortal deaths, turned him into a god. Well, as close as you could get.

Basically he became the 'administrator' for Death. Or "Master" of Death, if you asked the idiot wizards.

In exchange for his immortality, he generally took over whenever one of the gods that ruled the afterlife wanted a vacation. It wasn't without it's perks...he had expanded the bunker's private library twice over whenever their vacations went on too long. He also gained the bloodline gift of the Blacks.

However it did have it's drawbacks.

For one thing he could easily qualify as a very high-level reaper if one were to use his temporary death properly to break the seal.

Zachariah hadn't picked up on that tidbit, and Raven had no intention of letting him find out. He was sick of fame, sick of the stupidity of humans. Let him act as a librarian/researcher for others who only knew him by his nickname, and he was happy.

No matter how lonely it was.

"As I recall, you didn't realize what you were dealing with until you found out exactly how many pots of that mead I drank without help," Raven shot at him. Loki looked mock offended.

"How was I supposed to know that you were a substitute death when you summoned me like that in that tiny ass room?"

"Being a substitute death doesn't automatically make you awesome at holding liquor. It does, however, keep you from ever getting alcohol poisoning," said a smug Raven.

"It doesn't get you laid," said Loki equally smug.

"Do I look like I'm hurting for that? I'm practically a monk, for crying out loud," said Raven.

"Oh yeah, I forgot, the great Raven never had a decent bed mate even when he _was_ human. Too afraid to let down his shields even for a one-night stand," said Loki rolling his eyes.

"Is that a challenge I hear, sugar-for-brains?"

"Damn straight it is!" said Loki. "Hell, I'll even rope the Winchesters in on this if I have to. I bet Dean can get more ladies than you can before the drinking is over."

"You're on."

* * *

 _Next morning..._

Dean was naturally in on the game after Loki healed their monumental hangovers.

Of course Sam had to bring up why Raven wasn't suffering from alcohol poisoning or a hangover.

"I'll explain once I'm sure neither of you have anything sharp, pointy, or painful to hit me with."

"That bad?"

"Just...awkward to explain without getting you very, very drunk and preferably put in different bedrooms before you end up replicating fanfiction. I believe they call it Wincest," said Raven.

Seeing their confusion, Loki's grin turned evil.

"You... You don't know?" said Loki, cackling with glee.

"Know what?" said Dean with trepidation.

"Ray, please? Please?" said Loki, practically begging.

"You can tell them, but I'll show them the fan art," said Raven.

"Deal!"

Five seconds later, the two Winchester brothers were ten seconds away from fainting. Their reaction to _Supernatural_ was funny...their reaction to _fanfiction_ was hilarious. Loki had it on video.

And then Raven hit them with the big guns.

He showed them the Wincest fan art.

Sam practically begged Raven to switch room with him. Loki was still laughing like a loon because of their reactions.

"I am going to kill this Carver Edmund, or whoever he is," said Dean.

"Can't," said Loki without thinking.

"Why not?"

"One, he's human. Two, he doesn't exactly have control over what he Sees. Oh, and he's protected."

"By who?"

"Heaven," said Loki.

"Carver Edmund, or Chuck, is the current Prophet. Which in layman's terms means he's the official 'Seer' for heaven. And all Prophets are protected by one arch angel at all times. If you tried to kill him heaven would come down on you faster than Loki on a cupcake. _Supernatural_ is called the 'Winchester Chronicles' in heaven. Besides, I've already had a word with him."

Seeing everyone look at him, Raven grinned.

"Quoth is wise, Quoth is all-knowing. Quoth also has unlimited internet and a Skype account. I contacted him using the Skype to find out what he knew...and he nearly had a heart attack realizing what he saw was real and that the same Raven he saw in his visions was now talking to him. I had to be sure he didn't leak anything that would come back to bite me in the ass...and he's not exactly looking forward to meeting either of you."

Mostly because then he'd end up writing about it, and that was a pretty high level of pathetic, according to him.

Chuck relied on _Supernatural_ to pay his bills.

He mostly called "Quoth" in order to get clarification so he could make the books better.

"So how are we going to find this thing?"

"It's the bar maid. Not the blond, but her friend, the one with the magnificent rack," said Raven without thinking.

Everyone else stared at him.

"What? I might be practically a monk, but I do have eyes. Besides, she's a dead ringer for Mina from the original Dracula movie," deadpanned Raven.

"So...shapeshifter?" clarified Dean slowly.

"I'll take it out while it looks like a monster, and then we can have a contest. Whoever gets the most girls wins," said Raven. "Oh, and you have to use your natural charms, not charms."

A few silver spikes traps (made to deal with werewolves) and the shifter was dead while looking like a cheap vampire reject.

Naturally Dean got a head start on their little contest by charming the waitress the shifter had been targeting...but his expression when Raven took back _three_ girls at once, all out-of-town girls, was hysterical.

Raven had his father's good looks, he was clearly foreign with his accent, and he had more charm and tact than either his father or his godfather. That plus the fact that he was able to easily prove he had stamina meant girls were flocking to him.

It's hard to dismiss a guy who could do push ups with one hand behind his back while upside down using only his thumb.

* * *

"I don't believe it. The nerd beat me!" said Dean horrified.

Sam was gleefully accepting cash from Loki, who had bet that being out of practice would count against Raven. Sam had bet against Dean mostly because Raven had a gentleman's charm and a few other qualities Dean didn't.

Being a bad boy only got you so far, after all.

"He not only beat you, he got three girls to join him at the same time. Not even you could get a girl and her 'interested' friend to join you!" said Loki sourly.

"Stamina, gentleman's charm, good looks, a clearly authentic foreign accent, and the fact I was paying drinks with larger bills meant that the girls were practically flocking to me. Well that and knowing where to hit didn't hurt either."

There was a bar that catered to the out-of-towners within walking distance of the hotel Raven was using. People generally came to these things for a good time and Raven kept up the 'lost Englishman' vibe long enough to snare some interested parties.

"How in the hell did the nerd beat me?" said Dean, in disbelief. "He's practically a monk!"

"A monk with a massive fan girl base," said Raven smugly. "A monk who not only got three girls to join him and then bring in two more of their friends when they realized that they weren't enough to put the monk's stamina to a proper test."

"Son of a bitch!"

Raven's cackling just made Dean even more annoyed that he had been beaten by a closet shut in.

"I could always give you tips, if you like," said Raven innocently... which only served to set Sam and Loki both off.

"I don't need tips!"

"You do if you can only handle one girl and she doesn't bother to call in friends for a proper orgy," Raven shot back. Sam and Loki laughed harder.

"There's no feasible way for me to win this one, is there?"

"Nope. Maybe if you had won our little contest you'd have ground to stand on, but you're on a crumbling beach," said Raven smugly.

"I hate you so much right now."

"Does that mean you don't want me to make you pie again?" asked Raven innocently.

Dean glared at him. Raven just kept his smug appearance.

"Now I get why you were locked away in that bunker. You're a weapon against poor, innocent hunters like me," said Dean.

Raven let out an amused laugh...because Dean had no idea that this was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

"You? Innocent? Maybe if hell froze over and became Helheim!"

"That does it," said Dean, mock anger in his voice...though from the way Raven was looking at him it sounded real. "DOG PILE ON THE MIDGET!"

Loki was quick to jump in, as was Sam. Before long the sound of Raven laughing helplessly was heard in the room.

Then he got his own with a silent levicorpus on all three, causing them to squawk indignantly at being held upside down.

"Payback is a bitch...and I intend to collect," he said grinning.

"Oh it is on now runt!" said Dean.

"In the words of the Enemy of All Who Live, I'm not small, I'm extra petite!"

"So you're a sorceress with height and chest issues?" said Loki innocently, yelping at the stinging hex Raven shot at him.

* * *

Raven didn't realize it until later, but leaving the bunker for a simple hunt had made him feel more alive than any research. For the first time in years all that knowledge was being put to use.

Which made him wonder what would happen if he started leaving more frequently.

Raven poured into his books until he found the right sequence of symbols that would make him invisible to heaven's radar, without having to carve them into his very bones.

So when he next left Nevermore, it was with a new wristband with sigils hidden under the leather pressed against his skin. The top of course, had other markings like the usual anti-possession one.

It also clearly had the word " _Supernatural_ " on it, much to Dean's annoyance.

If asked, Raven would claim to be a fan.

Though what Dean and Sam _didn't_ know was that he had already started production on a line of similar bracelets with actual protection symbols on them along with the title of the series and that Chuck was working to get them spread among the fan base.

They'd earn some money _and_ keep the fans safe from things that would hurt them.

"I can't believe you agreed to come on a basic hunt with us after last time."

"No drinking contests or sleeping around though," said Dean.

"I almost had a hangover from last time, and _that_ was because Loki thought breaking out the mead was a smart move. I drink Bacchus under the table, I can handle two hunters and a pagan sugar-nut."

Dean looked confused but Sam stared at him.

"Bacchus as in the Roman god of wine?"

"Also called Dionysus by the Greeks. Loki took me with him to visit Olympus and naturally we ended up in a drinking contest thanks to Thor. Should have seen their faces when a mere slip of a boy was able to drink everyone under the table and didn't have the decency to wake up with a monster hangover the next week."

Dean shot him a look.

"So why the sudden interest in hunting?"

"I'm bored and your grandmother is apparently obsessed with me after I made the mistake of giving her even a brief idea of what my past was like. Crazy old ladies. It was either hunt or hide in another bunker until her maternal streak died off to reasonable levels."

Dean and Sam snickered.


End file.
